Around this same time, I was preparing to leave on my mission. I had decided months prior that I wanted to serve and that nothing would stop me from going. In January, I received my call to serve in the West Virginia Charleston mission and to leave in just five short weeks! I was excited, I was nervous, and I was determined that I wasn't going to date in the weeks leading up to my departure, but God had something else in mind for those five weeks.
Zachary has a cousin named Kandas, and Kandas just so happened to be my best friend!! We became friends our junior year of high school and had been pretty much inseparable ever since. We always joked about making plans for me to marry one of her (many) cousins so that I could join the family and become her "bestie-cousin" as we called it. Throughout high school, Kandas was constantly setting me up on dates with her cousins in hopes that our "plans" would work. I always had fun with them, but of course it was nothing serious... we were silly girls who just daydreamed about love way too much.
But during the very last part of January, Kandas told me she had one last cousin she wanted me to meet. She told me a little bit about him and explained that he is from Idaho, which is why she hadn't introduced us prior, but that he was now attending BYU in Provo and we should meet! I probably rolled my eyes at her. Why did it have to be 3 weeks before I left? But after a little bit of prodding on her part, I agreed. It's not like it would go anywhere anyway, right?! Wrong.
It must have been love at first sight (although I had no clue at the time) because from the moment I walked in the door of Kandas' house and saw Zach sitting on the couch, I was hooked! Of course I didn't know that I was hooked, but I was. There was just something about him. He was different from anyone else I'd ever met. He was special.
The next three weeks flew by. Zachary and I went on some dates, I continued my mission prep, and before I knew it, I had two days until I was supposed to leave. It was a Monday night and Zachary invited me to go to an FHE activity at his aunt Carrie's house. We had fun and I loved being around all his aunts and uncles and cute little cousins who I had gotten to know quite well over the years tagging along with Kandas to family events. On the way home we laughed (a lot), talked, and then, for the first time since we had met, he reached over, grabbed my hand and just held it while he drove. It was so sweet and so tender, and I felt a piece of my heart break because I knew I was leaving him in less than 48 hours.
Well, the day finally arrived and I left on my mission. I honestly didn't think I would ever see Zachary again. He was fun, handsome, talented and successful, and I was sure he'd forget about me in no time. After all, it's not like we had even dated that seriously! It had only been three weeks! He wrote me a few letters at the beginning of my mission and then sure enough, the letters stopped coming and I assumed it was over. I had prepared myself for that. I knew it was coming, and even though I had feelings for him, I was ok with not writing. I knew I needed to be on my mission and I wanted to focus on my purpose there, not some boy back home.
Zachary would cross my mind occasionally, but I always tried to push the thought away. I found myself wondering about him, thinking about him, and even praying for him at times. My mind kept pushing him away, but my heart just wouldn't let go!
10 months passed. One morning on the way out the door, I quickly checked the mail and was surprised to find a letter addressed to me, but I was even more surprised when I read who it was from!! It was from Zach. He asked how things were going, told what he was up to, and wrote to me like we had seen each other yesterday. We exchanged a few more letters over the next couple months until Christmas. He sent me a package to open on Christmas day and included with it a letter telling me how much he missed me, thought about me, and prayed for me.
At this point I was confused! There were only three things I knew:
1. I felt something for him, but didn't know to what extent.
2. He must feel something for me too, based on his letter.
3. He hadn't written me for almost half my mission! So why now?
My next letter to him was full of questions. He probably felt like he was in an interview because I was just throwing questions at him left and right! I just wanted to know how he felt. I was tired of guessing, so I wrote him a DTR (determine the relationship) letter to find out.
His reply is what changed my life forever. I read his letter as he talked about his family, the time he spent at home during the holidays, and his future plans. He also explained why he hadn't written for 10 months. He explained how that night right before I left, when he held my hand, he felt something he had never felt before. As this happened, it broke a piece of his heart because he realized I'd be leaving soon. (Sound familiar???) So he put up a wall and tried to distract himself. But after so long, it didn't work anymore and he could no longer fight the feeling. Then, the last paragraph. Here is a short snippet of what it said: "Being away from you right now is not easy. Honestly I wish I could just wrap you in my arms and tell you how special you are. But I continually think about where you are, what you are doing, and who you are becoming. It is such a blessing to me. Dearest Kayana, I am here for you, I care for you, and I LOVE YOU. You asked me to be honest so I am."
I was floored. I was giddy. I couldn't believe it! The next few days consisted of a lot of prayers on my part. Of course I knew I had feelings for him, but did I LOVE him? I had never been in love before and didn't quite know how to identify it. I was pretty confused, so I prayed for clarity. I wanted to know if it was love or not. My answer came on the way to a lunch appointment one afternoon a few days after the letter arrived. As I sat in the passenger seat pondering the circumstances (and trying to think about the lesson we had prepared for our lunch appointment) the most undeniable, overwhelming feeling came over me and completely filled my heart and suddenly I just KNEW. I knew this was love. I knew this was real. And not long after, I knew that he was the one I needed to marry when I got home!!
The rest of my mission went by so fast. He was such a great support as I diligently and happily finished my service as a missionary, and before I knew it, I was home!
We were so happy to finally be together, and saw each other every day from that day forward!
We were engaged 6 weeks from the day I got home...
And married for time and all eternity 6 weeks after that!!!
Zachary makes me the happiest girl in the world and I am so grateful I was blessed with the opportunity to be his wife! He is everything I ever dreamed of and more! When I left for my mission I remember thinking "I'll probably never see him again".... Lucky for me, I married him.
(and lucky for Kandas and I, our plan worked and we are officially COUSINS! Can you believe it?!)
**What are YOUR thoughts on this post? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think and what kinds of posts you'd like to see in the future!
